it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
