Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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