My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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