Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
