I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
