I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
