I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
