Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
