oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
