I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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