no. you can't hotbox the world.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
