That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
