Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
