MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
