how do flat chested girls get laid?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
