I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
