yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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