windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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