he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
