I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
