I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How does one acquire holy water?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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