trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
