Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
