you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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