I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He did a backflip because drugs
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
