we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
