the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
