I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
