yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
