I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
