WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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