She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
