Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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