you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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