So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
