sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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