Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
