yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
