Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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