isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
