Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
