i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
