At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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