another moral hangover. fuck.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
