I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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