i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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