So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Pants are for mortals
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
