Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
