Already got asked if we're dating
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
