I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
