I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
