When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
