That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
